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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Years
President
Naive
Everyone
Surprised
Littles
Native
Government
Clinton
Little
Americans
Many
Relationship
Feel
Comedy
Feels
American
Lied
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
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I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position.
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
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When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
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What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
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I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.
Eddie Izzard
When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
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Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
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Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!
Eddie Izzard
Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
Eddie Izzard
I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fight the devils within us.
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
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It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
Eddie Izzard
Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
I'd like to have sex with myself.
Eddie Izzard
If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.
Eddie Izzard
America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
Eddie Izzard
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard
