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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Feel
Comedy
Feels
American
Lied
Years
President
Naive
Everyone
Surprised
Littles
Native
Government
Clinton
Little
Americans
Many
Relationship

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For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I'm not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I'm wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing.
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But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
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Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'
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I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
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I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
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My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.
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America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
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Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
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We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. I claim India for Britain! They're going You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us! Do you have a flag …? No... Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made u
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If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world.
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I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us in humans.
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When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
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Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
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Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
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It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
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I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
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When I was seven, I said, I want to act. When I was 10, I realized that films exist, and I wanted to be in them. Not a comedian, I wanted to be a dramatic actor. Films just seemed such fun, and like such a great thing to do.
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You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard