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If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Plans
Someone
Similar
Plan

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
Eddie Izzard
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All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard
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I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
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When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
Eddie Izzard
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I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.
Eddie Izzard
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Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!
Eddie Izzard
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Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard
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Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
Eddie Izzard
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If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started.
Eddie Izzard
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
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MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard
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Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.
Eddie Izzard
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When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
Eddie Izzard
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I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fight the devils within us.
Eddie Izzard
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You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
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I'd like to have sex with myself.
Eddie Izzard
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Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'
Eddie Izzard
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You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.
Eddie Izzard
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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard