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Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
Earl Wilson
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Earl Wilson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1907
Born: May 3
Died: 1987
Died: January 16
Journalist
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
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More quotes by Earl Wilson
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
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A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
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An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
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The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
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Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
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Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
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Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
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Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
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The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
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If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.
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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
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Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
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Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
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Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
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This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.
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Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.
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One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
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To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain tell a man it's deductible.
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