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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.

Earl Wilson

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Earl Wilson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1907
Born: May 3
Died: 1987
Died: January 16
Journalist
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Phones
Honest
Play
Craps
Gambling
Crap
Phone

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The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
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If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.
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Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
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Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
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Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.
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Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
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Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
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This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.
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A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
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A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
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Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
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To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain tell a man it's deductible.
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Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
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Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
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Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
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An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
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Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
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The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
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