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Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.

Earl Wilson

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Earl Wilson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1907
Born: May 3
Died: 1987
Died: January 16
Journalist
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Bond
Drives
Cards
Mortgaged
Financed
Credit
Highway
Car
Highways
Modern
Card
Men
Gas

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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
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If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.
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An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
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A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
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Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
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Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
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A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
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Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
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To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain tell a man it's deductible.
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Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
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Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
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The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
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Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
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Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.
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