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If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.

Earl Wilson

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Earl Wilson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1907
Born: May 3
Died: 1987
Died: January 16
Journalist
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
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More quotes by Earl Wilson

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An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
Earl Wilson
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One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
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Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
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A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
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Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
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Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
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Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.
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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
Earl Wilson
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Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
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To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain tell a man it's deductible.
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Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
Earl Wilson
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Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
Earl Wilson
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Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
Earl Wilson
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A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
Earl Wilson
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This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.
Earl Wilson
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Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
Earl Wilson
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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
Earl Wilson
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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
Earl Wilson
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Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
Earl Wilson
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The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
Earl Wilson