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A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Earl Wilson

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Earl Wilson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1907
Born: May 3
Died: 1987
Died: January 16
Journalist
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Baseball
Game
Simply
Games
Innings
Breakdown
Divided
Nervous
Nine

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One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
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The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
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The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
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Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
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Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.
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Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
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Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
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Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
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An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
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This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.
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Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
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Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
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Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
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To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain tell a man it's deductible.
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Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
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If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.
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Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
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Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
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