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A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
Earl Wilson
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Earl Wilson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1907
Born: May 3
Died: 1987
Died: January 16
Journalist
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Nine
Baseball
Game
Simply
Games
Innings
Breakdown
Divided
Nervous
More quotes by Earl Wilson
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain tell a man it's deductible.
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Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
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Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
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Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
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An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
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Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
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One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
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This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.
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Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
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Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
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Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
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A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
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Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
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If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.
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The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
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Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
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Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
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Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
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