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When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.

E. W. Howe

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E. W. Howe
Age: 84 †
Born: 1853
Born: May 3
Died: 1937
Died: October 3
Editor
Journalist
Novelist
Edgar Watson Howe
Really
People
Sympathize
Particulars
Gossip
Luck
Trouble
Call
Looking

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Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.
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Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.
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The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
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The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away.
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A women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
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If you have sense enough to realize why flies gather around a restaurant, you should be able to appreciate why men run for office.
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A man has his clothes made to fit him a woman makes herself fit her clothes.
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None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.
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When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
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Friends are like a pleasant park where you wish to go while you may enjoy the flowers, you may not eat them.
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Most people eat as if they were fattening themselves for market.
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Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.
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I have long been disposed to judge men by their average. If it is reasonably high, I am charitable with faults that look pretty black.
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A woman does not spend all her time in buying things she spends part of it in taking them back.
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I try to have no plans the failure of which would greatly annoy me. Half the unhappiness in the world is due to the failure of plans which were never reasonable, and often impossible.
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Men are a good deal better collectively than they are individually. Many a man will do that privately which he will denounce in a crowd.
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The more wealth a man has, the louder his children talk.
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Bravery is knowledge of the cowardice of the enemy.
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Where the guests at a gathering are well-acquainted, they eat 20 per cent more than they otherwise would.
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Abuse a man unjustly, and you will make friends for him.
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