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The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

E. W. Howe

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E. W. Howe
Age: 84 †
Born: 1853
Born: May 3
Died: 1937
Died: October 3
Editor
Journalist
Novelist
Edgar Watson Howe
Way
Amuse
People
Pavement
Amused
Slip
Amusement
Slips
Literature
Fall
Icy

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When a man tells you what people are saying about you, tell him what people are saying about him that will immediately take his mind off your troubles.
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When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.
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Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.
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Probably you have noted the resemblance of the critic to the crank.
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Friends are like a pleasant park where you wish to go while you may enjoy the flowers, you may not eat them.
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When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.
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Where the guests at a gathering are well-acquainted, they eat 20 per cent more than they otherwise would.
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Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.
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You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
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No man is smart, except by comparison to those who know less
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A women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
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A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.
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A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.
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There is only one thing people like that is good for them a good night's sleep.
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The man who insists he as good as anybody, believes he is better.
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When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
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There must be some good in the cocktail party to account for its immense vogue among otherwise sane people.
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When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
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Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
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People tolerate those they fear further than those they love.
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