Quote

I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Hurt
Funny
Buttocks
Two
Lungs
Body
Hurts
Feel
Properly
Feels
Smoke
Even
Humor
Hair

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected to it. It's a super-organism of the American state. But there's also a parallel city in there where normal people live.
Dylan Moran
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In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
Dylan Moran
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
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I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.
Dylan Moran
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You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
Dylan Moran
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
Dylan Moran
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There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.
Dylan Moran
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I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.
Dylan Moran
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I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
Dylan Moran
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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
Dylan Moran
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I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural it just depends on how you want to show off.
Dylan Moran
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
Dylan Moran
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I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.
Dylan Moran
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One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.
Dylan Moran
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Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.
Dylan Moran
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When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Dylan Moran
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I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
Dylan Moran
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Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
Dylan Moran
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Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
Dylan Moran
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
Dylan Moran