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You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Totally
Humor
Dead
Alive
Funny
More quotes by Dylan Moran
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.
Dylan Moran
America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
Dylan Moran
I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
Dylan Moran
I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.
Dylan Moran
Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Dylan Moran
Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.
Dylan Moran
I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
Dylan Moran
I have used that song [50ft Queenie] and I'm a big PJ Harvey fan. I think she's fantastic.
Dylan Moran
I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.
Dylan Moran
I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter it was very important. When I was a teenager, you wouldn't go to a bar and find lots of televisions everywhere. People were talking. Talk was the mental fire you would gather around in the evening. It occupied a big part of your existence.
Dylan Moran
You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
Dylan Moran
I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
Dylan Moran
Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Dylan Moran
If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.
Dylan Moran
I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
Dylan Moran
You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...
Dylan Moran
Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.
Dylan Moran
I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.
Dylan Moran
You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...This is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
Dylan Moran
The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.
Dylan Moran