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Fruit... it's just God showing off. Look at all the colours I know!

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Showing
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Fruit
Humor
Funny
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Looks
Colours

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
Dylan Moran
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I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.
Dylan Moran
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I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.
Dylan Moran
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He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
Dylan Moran
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When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Dylan Moran
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
Dylan Moran
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You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
Dylan Moran
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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
Dylan Moran
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I have used that song [50ft Queenie] and I'm a big PJ Harvey fan. I think she's fantastic.
Dylan Moran
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I know there's similar dissatisfaction in America. There's a lot of white people who come from blue collar backgrounds and who feel ill-equipped and badly served by modern economics and the modern job market.
Dylan Moran
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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
Dylan Moran
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Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.
Dylan Moran
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
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I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.
Dylan Moran
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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.
Dylan Moran
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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
Dylan Moran
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It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
Dylan Moran
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I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef.
Dylan Moran
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Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
Dylan Moran
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I've lived in the UK for longer than I lived in Ireland. I'm not worried about myself, but it's ridiculous for youngsters.
Dylan Moran