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I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Worked
Humor
Quite
Funny
Also
Persons
Indecisive
Person
Compulsive
Recently

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I do pauses, pauses work for me
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Fruit... it's just God showing off. Look at all the colours I know!
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You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
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I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
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Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
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You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
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If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
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What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
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In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
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You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
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The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
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America's work ethic is non-stop it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
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If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.
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You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...
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You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
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A lot of the fiction I read growing up was post-war American, and not all of it centers on Manhattan, but around people of the Mad Men generation, people like John Cheever and, in more modern times, Don DeLillo, who I always mention.
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I have used that song [50ft Queenie] and I'm a big PJ Harvey fan. I think she's fantastic.
Dylan Moran
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One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.
Dylan Moran