Quote

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Humor
Farts
Food
Clothed
Funny
Fart
Eggs
Belong
Substance
Group
Groups

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I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
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I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
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I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.
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You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
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In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
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I've always wanted to visit [Washington]. The Smithsonian has some fantastic archival material on blues music, which I'm really into. There's a ton of stuff I want to do there. but it just never happened.
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If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.
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Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
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You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
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Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.
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I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
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You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...
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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.
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You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at what's confronting them in their lives and that's kind of sad because there's a kind of pornographic aspect to it, of making some sort of pain go away, of hovering around a pain, making yourself numb, not feel anything.
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I dislike both of [candidates] but there's obviously no choice in the election - if you're concerned about the future of anything, you need to vote for Hillary Clinton.
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I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected to it. It's a super-organism of the American state. But there's also a parallel city in there where normal people live.
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