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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Groups
Humor
Farts
Food
Clothed
Funny
Fart
Eggs
Belong
Substance
Group
More quotes by Dylan Moran
Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Dylan Moran
Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!
Dylan Moran
In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
Dylan Moran
I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
Dylan Moran
Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
Dylan Moran
What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
Dylan Moran
I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
Dylan Moran
I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
Dylan Moran
You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.
Dylan Moran
I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
Dylan Moran
It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
Dylan Moran
We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
Dylan Moran
You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
Dylan Moran
You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
Dylan Moran
You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a wall, but if somebody's giving you stuff, if somebody's talking, giving you their take on things, what makes you laugh, generally speaking, is going to be somebody who is telling it in an angry way.
Dylan Moran
Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
Dylan Moran
The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.
Dylan Moran
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
Dylan Moran
