Quote

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Nails
Rainbow
Yeah
Frisbee
Humor
Shave
Funny
Fling
Think
Nail
Thinking
Wash
Beard

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
Dylan Moran
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I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.
Dylan Moran
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You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
Dylan Moran
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You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at what's confronting them in their lives and that's kind of sad because there's a kind of pornographic aspect to it, of making some sort of pain go away, of hovering around a pain, making yourself numb, not feel anything.
Dylan Moran
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I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else.
Dylan Moran
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In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
Dylan Moran
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Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.
Dylan Moran
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I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
Dylan Moran
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Dylan Moran
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Some people have told me that I'm grumpy it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
Dylan Moran
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I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter it was very important. When I was a teenager, you wouldn't go to a bar and find lots of televisions everywhere. People were talking. Talk was the mental fire you would gather around in the evening. It occupied a big part of your existence.
Dylan Moran
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
Dylan Moran
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[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.
Dylan Moran
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You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.
Dylan Moran
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I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
Dylan Moran
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
Dylan Moran
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I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.
Dylan Moran
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I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.
Dylan Moran
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Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.
Dylan Moran
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If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.
Dylan Moran