Quote

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Funny
Expert
Three
Attacking
Take
Experts
Even
Third
Would
Thirds
Mathematics
Arse
Humor
Arses
Least
Calculated

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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
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You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.
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I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything.
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I always try to address where I am. I'll talk to the people and try to find out what it is about that particular place that makes it distinct from everywhere else.
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Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, Don't go outside! Or inside! Get into the cupboard with some spinach! When I was a child they'd kick you out and you weren't expected to come back until there were bats!
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I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.
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I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural it just depends on how you want to show off.
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I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
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Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.
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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
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Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
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Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!
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You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
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I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
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I write all the time, but you just want to be careful what you put out. That's all. You want to have the confidence that you've done what you need to do to it, because otherwise it's an exercise in vanity.
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I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
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You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...
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