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Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Kids
Hurting
Important
Picking
Something
Quick
Always
Ears
Like
Sitting
Humor
Hurt
Casualty
Funny
Casualties
More quotes by Dylan Moran
You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
Dylan Moran
I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
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Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!
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I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight.
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I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.
Dylan Moran
What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
Dylan Moran
Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
Dylan Moran
I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
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I've lived in the UK for longer than I lived in Ireland. I'm not worried about myself, but it's ridiculous for youngsters.
Dylan Moran
You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
Dylan Moran
Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.
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Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
Dylan Moran
Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
Dylan Moran
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.
Dylan Moran
I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
Dylan Moran
All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
Dylan Moran
America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
Dylan Moran
You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!
Dylan Moran
It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
Dylan Moran
If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
Dylan Moran
