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One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Humor
Coming
Books
Funny
Black
Book
Thing
Grumpy
Appear

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
Dylan Moran
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You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
Dylan Moran
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You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.
Dylan Moran
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I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.
Dylan Moran
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I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter it was very important. When I was a teenager, you wouldn't go to a bar and find lots of televisions everywhere. People were talking. Talk was the mental fire you would gather around in the evening. It occupied a big part of your existence.
Dylan Moran
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You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...
Dylan Moran
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I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.
Dylan Moran
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You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
Dylan Moran
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Dylan Moran
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It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
Dylan Moran
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I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.
Dylan Moran
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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
Dylan Moran
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All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
Dylan Moran
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You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.
Dylan Moran
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He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
Dylan Moran
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Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
Dylan Moran
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I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
Dylan Moran
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If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
Dylan Moran
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
Dylan Moran