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When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Firsts
Watch
Attacking
First
Laughing
Boredom
Children
Comedy
Club
Trying
Went
Clubs
Made
Child
Laugh
Things
Simple
Gave
Found
Watches
Wanted
Office
More quotes by Dylan Moran
Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.
Dylan Moran
I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
Dylan Moran
You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
Dylan Moran
I did throw a lot of eggs into one basket, as you do in your teenage years - 'I am buying these records, I am wearing this'. I did quite a bit of that. You have to do it, wear your stupid shoes, wear your stupid hair.
Dylan Moran
Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
Dylan Moran
You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.
Dylan Moran
I've always wanted to visit [Washington]. The Smithsonian has some fantastic archival material on blues music, which I'm really into. There's a ton of stuff I want to do there. but it just never happened.
Dylan Moran
Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
Dylan Moran
I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
Dylan Moran
We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
Dylan Moran
Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
Dylan Moran
America's work ethic is non-stop it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
Dylan Moran
Fruit... it's just God showing off. Look at all the colours I know!
Dylan Moran
I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.
Dylan Moran
Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.
Dylan Moran
I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
Dylan Moran
Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.
Dylan Moran
Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, Don't go outside! Or inside! Get into the cupboard with some spinach! When I was a child they'd kick you out and you weren't expected to come back until there were bats!
Dylan Moran
