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When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Found
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Office
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Attacking
First
Laughing
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Children
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Child
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More quotes by Dylan Moran
The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
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I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
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The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
Dylan Moran
He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
Dylan Moran
You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...This is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
Dylan Moran
Fruit... it's just God showing off. Look at all the colours I know!
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I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
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That's a rather flippant quote drinking and writing bad poetry from me. I mean, I said it, but I was doing other stuff too. I certainly didn't manage the full stretch of four years.
Dylan Moran
[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.
Dylan Moran
You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a wall, but if somebody's giving you stuff, if somebody's talking, giving you their take on things, what makes you laugh, generally speaking, is going to be somebody who is telling it in an angry way.
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I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything.
Dylan Moran
Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
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Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
Dylan Moran
If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
Dylan Moran
I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
Dylan Moran
I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
Dylan Moran