Quote

When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Things
Simple
Gave
Found
Watches
Wanted
Office
Firsts
Watch
Attacking
First
Laughing
Boredom
Children
Comedy
Club
Trying
Went
Clubs
Made
Child
Laugh

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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
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Some people have told me that I'm grumpy it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
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Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
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The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
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All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
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You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.
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Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.
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You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.
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I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.
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I've always wanted to visit [Washington]. The Smithsonian has some fantastic archival material on blues music, which I'm really into. There's a ton of stuff I want to do there. but it just never happened.
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
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If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
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You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...This is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
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Fruit... it's just God showing off. Look at all the colours I know!
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
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Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.
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Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
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He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
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