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I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Way
Organised
Ways
Others

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything.
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I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.
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It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect.
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You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
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I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef.
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Some people have told me that I'm grumpy it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
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In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
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I do pauses, pauses work for me
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
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Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.
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You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!
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I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
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What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
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You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
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You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
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