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You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Prepared
Happy
Learn
Anything
Going
Flat
Flats

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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That's a rather flippant quote drinking and writing bad poetry from me. I mean, I said it, but I was doing other stuff too. I certainly didn't manage the full stretch of four years.
Dylan Moran
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
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I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
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You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
Dylan Moran
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It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
Dylan Moran
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Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, Don't go outside! Or inside! Get into the cupboard with some spinach! When I was a child they'd kick you out and you weren't expected to come back until there were bats!
Dylan Moran
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One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.
Dylan Moran
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I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else.
Dylan Moran
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Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
Dylan Moran
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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Dylan Moran
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Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.
Dylan Moran
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I know there's similar dissatisfaction in America. There's a lot of white people who come from blue collar backgrounds and who feel ill-equipped and badly served by modern economics and the modern job market.
Dylan Moran
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There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.
Dylan Moran
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I do pauses, pauses work for me
Dylan Moran
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The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
Dylan Moran
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I'll work for whoever wants to hire me. Even the jewelry channel.
Dylan Moran
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In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
Dylan Moran
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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
Dylan Moran
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It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
Dylan Moran