Quote

It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Light
Doctor
Doctors
Unless
Humor
Working
Actually
Incubator
Funny
Disobedience
Social
Cigarette

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I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
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The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity.
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I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything.
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Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.
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America's work ethic is non-stop it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
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Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
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I'll work for whoever wants to hire me. Even the jewelry channel.
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I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.
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You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
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You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
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You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.
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I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.
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I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.
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I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
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The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.
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Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
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I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
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