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It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Doctors
Unless
Humor
Working
Actually
Incubator
Funny
Disobedience
Social
Cigarette
Light
Doctor
More quotes by Dylan Moran
I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
Dylan Moran
I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
Dylan Moran
I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.
Dylan Moran
I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
Dylan Moran
If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.
Dylan Moran
When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Dylan Moran
You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
Dylan Moran
[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.
Dylan Moran
Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.
Dylan Moran
What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
Dylan Moran
All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
Dylan Moran
If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.
Dylan Moran
I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
Dylan Moran
I always try to address where I am. I'll talk to the people and try to find out what it is about that particular place that makes it distinct from everywhere else.
Dylan Moran
I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.
Dylan Moran
Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Dylan Moran
Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
Dylan Moran
Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
Dylan Moran
The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.
Dylan Moran
He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
Dylan Moran