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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Witty
Characters
Character
Real
Life
People

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.
Dylan Moran
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
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I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
Dylan Moran
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
Dylan Moran
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Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
Dylan Moran
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I've lived in the UK for longer than I lived in Ireland. I'm not worried about myself, but it's ridiculous for youngsters.
Dylan Moran
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Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.
Dylan Moran
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Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
Dylan Moran
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Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
Dylan Moran
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One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.
Dylan Moran
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Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once.
Dylan Moran
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In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
Dylan Moran
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I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
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America's work ethic is non-stop it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
Dylan Moran
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I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
Dylan Moran
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I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected to it. It's a super-organism of the American state. But there's also a parallel city in there where normal people live.
Dylan Moran
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Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
Dylan Moran
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I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.
Dylan Moran
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I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
Dylan Moran
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You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
Dylan Moran