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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Witty
Characters
Character
Real
Life
People

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Dylan Moran
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You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
Dylan Moran
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I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
Dylan Moran
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I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
Dylan Moran
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I have used that song [50ft Queenie] and I'm a big PJ Harvey fan. I think she's fantastic.
Dylan Moran
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You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at what's confronting them in their lives and that's kind of sad because there's a kind of pornographic aspect to it, of making some sort of pain go away, of hovering around a pain, making yourself numb, not feel anything.
Dylan Moran
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I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
Dylan Moran
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You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
Dylan Moran
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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.
Dylan Moran
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
Dylan Moran
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
Dylan Moran
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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
Dylan Moran
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The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.
Dylan Moran
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The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity.
Dylan Moran
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Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
Dylan Moran
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The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.
Dylan Moran
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
Dylan Moran
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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
Dylan Moran
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Some people have told me that I'm grumpy it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
Dylan Moran