Quote

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Dylan Moran

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Growing
Bulldozers
Funny
Drove
Trying
Foreign
Things
Various
Service
Neither
Humor
Stand
Bulldozer

More quotes by Dylan Moran

Image
I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
Dylan Moran
Image
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
Dylan Moran
Image
He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
Dylan Moran
Image
You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at what's confronting them in their lives and that's kind of sad because there's a kind of pornographic aspect to it, of making some sort of pain go away, of hovering around a pain, making yourself numb, not feel anything.
Dylan Moran
Image
I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.
Dylan Moran
Image
You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
Dylan Moran
Image
I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.
Dylan Moran
Image
The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
Dylan Moran
Image
I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef.
Dylan Moran
Image
The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.
Dylan Moran
Image
In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
Dylan Moran
Image
One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.
Dylan Moran
Image
When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.
Dylan Moran
Image
If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.
Dylan Moran
Image
In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
Dylan Moran
Image
You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...
Dylan Moran
Image
You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
Dylan Moran
Image
All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
Dylan Moran
Image
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.
Dylan Moran
Image
You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
Dylan Moran