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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Stand
Bulldozer
Growing
Bulldozers
Funny
Drove
Trying
Foreign
Things
Various
Service
Neither
Humor

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
Dylan Moran
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There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.
Dylan Moran
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I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
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It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
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Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
Dylan Moran
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I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
Dylan Moran
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I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.
Dylan Moran
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In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
Dylan Moran
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I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.
Dylan Moran
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I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.
Dylan Moran
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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
Dylan Moran
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I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.
Dylan Moran
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You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!
Dylan Moran
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Fruit... it's just God showing off. Look at all the colours I know!
Dylan Moran
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Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.
Dylan Moran
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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.
Dylan Moran
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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
Dylan Moran
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Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, Don't go outside! Or inside! Get into the cupboard with some spinach! When I was a child they'd kick you out and you weren't expected to come back until there were bats!
Dylan Moran
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I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything.
Dylan Moran
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I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.
Dylan Moran