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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Growing
Bulldozers
Funny
Drove
Trying
Foreign
Things
Various
Service
Neither
Humor
Stand
Bulldozer

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
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In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
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My drive to put myself on the line comes from boredom. From that feeling when you go to bed and think, 'What did I do today?' It doesn't have to be something monumental, just a feeling that you really tried to look at something, or look into something.
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I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
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You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
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There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.
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It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect.
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I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.
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When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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I write all the time, but you just want to be careful what you put out. That's all. You want to have the confidence that you've done what you need to do to it, because otherwise it's an exercise in vanity.
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If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.
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You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a wall, but if somebody's giving you stuff, if somebody's talking, giving you their take on things, what makes you laugh, generally speaking, is going to be somebody who is telling it in an angry way.
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The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.
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I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
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I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
Dylan Moran
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
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Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.
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