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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Bulldozer
Stand
Bulldozers
Growing
Drove
Funny
Foreign
Trying
Various
Things
Service
Neither
Humor

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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America's work ethic is non-stop it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.
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I've always wanted to visit [Washington]. The Smithsonian has some fantastic archival material on blues music, which I'm really into. There's a ton of stuff I want to do there. but it just never happened.
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
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I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.
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You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at what's confronting them in their lives and that's kind of sad because there's a kind of pornographic aspect to it, of making some sort of pain go away, of hovering around a pain, making yourself numb, not feel anything.
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Some people have told me that I'm grumpy it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
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Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
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I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.
Dylan Moran
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If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
Dylan Moran
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The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.
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You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
Dylan Moran
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I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.
Dylan Moran
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I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
Dylan Moran
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The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.
Dylan Moran
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It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
Dylan Moran
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I do pauses, pauses work for me
Dylan Moran
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
Dylan Moran