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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Nothing
Looks
Attractive
Love
Fit
World
Worse
People
Healthy
Two
Young
Look

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme.
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America's work ethic is non-stop it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
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I’ve always been a big consumer of American journalism over the years and had an interest in the history of it and of the press in America how it has changed.
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If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere.
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You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!
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Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
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Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.
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I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?
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Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
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You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...This is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
Dylan Moran
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You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
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What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
Dylan Moran
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You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
Dylan Moran
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Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
Dylan Moran
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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
Dylan Moran
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You can laugh at somebody because they are innocent, and because they are naive or they are about to walk into a wall, but if somebody's giving you stuff, if somebody's talking, giving you their take on things, what makes you laugh, generally speaking, is going to be somebody who is telling it in an angry way.
Dylan Moran