Quote

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Never
Helping
Properly
Think
Place
Possibly
Thinking
Thought
Except
Anything
Humor
Work
Turn
Every
Turns
Really
Help
Canteen
Good
Funny
Sandwiches

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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A lot of the fiction I read growing up was post-war American, and not all of it centers on Manhattan, but around people of the Mad Men generation, people like John Cheever and, in more modern times, Don DeLillo, who I always mention.
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It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.
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I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter it was very important. When I was a teenager, you wouldn't go to a bar and find lots of televisions everywhere. People were talking. Talk was the mental fire you would gather around in the evening. It occupied a big part of your existence.
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I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
Dylan Moran
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Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.
Dylan Moran
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Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.
Dylan Moran
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If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.
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I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
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I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.
Dylan Moran
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I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
Dylan Moran
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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Dylan Moran
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Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.
Dylan Moran
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I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight.
Dylan Moran
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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
Dylan Moran
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I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else.
Dylan Moran
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I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
Dylan Moran
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Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
Dylan Moran
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Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
Dylan Moran
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Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
Dylan Moran