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You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Looks
Children
Organic
Daddy
Humor
Asks
Child
Funny

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
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You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
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I'm fascinated by how you'll change your position so many times over a lifetime, but really what you're doing is occupying a series of positions on a landscape.
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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
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If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere.
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I have used that song [50ft Queenie] and I'm a big PJ Harvey fan. I think she's fantastic.
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I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.
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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
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It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect.
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When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
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I always try to address where I am. I'll talk to the people and try to find out what it is about that particular place that makes it distinct from everywhere else.
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If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
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When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Dylan Moran
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I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.
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There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.
Dylan Moran