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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Bridge
Bags
Bridges
Anymore
Humor
Spare
Funny
Spares
Two
Flew
Lungs

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If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
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The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.
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Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
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One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
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The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.
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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.
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I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
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The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.
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You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...This is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
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My drive to put myself on the line comes from boredom. From that feeling when you go to bed and think, 'What did I do today?' It doesn't have to be something monumental, just a feeling that you really tried to look at something, or look into something.
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Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.
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You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
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I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
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You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
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He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
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Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written.
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