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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Love
Biscuits
Chocolate
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Money
Really
Good
Ginger

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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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I'll work for whoever wants to hire me. Even the jewelry channel.
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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
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Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
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In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
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I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.
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Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that...shite.
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I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
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I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
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That's a rather flippant quote drinking and writing bad poetry from me. I mean, I said it, but I was doing other stuff too. I certainly didn't manage the full stretch of four years.
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America's work ethic is non-stop it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
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Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!
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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.
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I’ve always been a big consumer of American journalism over the years and had an interest in the history of it and of the press in America how it has changed.
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I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
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I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.
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All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
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The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
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