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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Funny
Money
Really
Good
Ginger
Love
Biscuits
Chocolate
Humor
Comedy
More quotes by Dylan Moran
I really can't describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it's like that, or it's like this, and that's really up to them, that's fine, but I don't sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don't do that then I won't interest anybody else.
Dylan Moran
I do pauses, pauses work for me
Dylan Moran
Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.
Dylan Moran
The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
Dylan Moran
I have tried... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies.
Dylan Moran
I know there's similar dissatisfaction in America. There's a lot of white people who come from blue collar backgrounds and who feel ill-equipped and badly served by modern economics and the modern job market.
Dylan Moran
You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.
Dylan Moran
You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
Dylan Moran
I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural it just depends on how you want to show off.
Dylan Moran
I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
Dylan Moran
It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect.
Dylan Moran
I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
Dylan Moran
I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.
Dylan Moran
I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
Dylan Moran
When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Dylan Moran
It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
Dylan Moran
You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.
Dylan Moran
You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
Dylan Moran
All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
Dylan Moran
