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You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Beer
Adults
Conversation
Child
Understand
Conversations
Children
Adult
Tall
Holding

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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
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I did throw a lot of eggs into one basket, as you do in your teenage years - 'I am buying these records, I am wearing this'. I did quite a bit of that. You have to do it, wear your stupid shoes, wear your stupid hair.
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
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We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
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I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter it was very important. When I was a teenager, you wouldn't go to a bar and find lots of televisions everywhere. People were talking. Talk was the mental fire you would gather around in the evening. It occupied a big part of your existence.
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I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.
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I do pauses, pauses work for me
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Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.
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I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
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The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity.
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All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive
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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
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I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected to it. It's a super-organism of the American state. But there's also a parallel city in there where normal people live.
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I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural it just depends on how you want to show off.
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In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
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You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
Dylan Moran
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You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
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Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
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