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Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Energy
Away
Early
Enough
Please
Giving
Gives
Much
Humor
Time
Morning
Funny
Hate
More quotes by Dylan Moran
Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
Dylan Moran
You cannot over estimate how infantile men are about sex! Men are people that have sex BECAUSE they have a headache... or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!
Dylan Moran
I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
Dylan Moran
I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.
Dylan Moran
We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy.
Dylan Moran
You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.
Dylan Moran
The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
Dylan Moran
I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight.
Dylan Moran
If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room, you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything.
Dylan Moran
I've always wanted to visit [Washington]. The Smithsonian has some fantastic archival material on blues music, which I'm really into. There's a ton of stuff I want to do there. but it just never happened.
Dylan Moran
I dislike both of [candidates] but there's obviously no choice in the election - if you're concerned about the future of anything, you need to vote for Hillary Clinton.
Dylan Moran
You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
Dylan Moran
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
Dylan Moran
Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Dylan Moran
You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
Dylan Moran
You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.
Dylan Moran
I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
Dylan Moran
[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.
Dylan Moran
Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Dylan Moran
I've been writing since I was very young, even before I was a teenager. As far as I'm concerned, I am a writer - whether my writing's spoken or written in a blog, paper, book or printed on the side of a submarine.
Dylan Moran