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I wanted to show off - a simple impulse or drive in much the same way as some kids wanted to play football, I wanted to show off. Not complicated in that sense, very natural it just depends on how you want to show off.
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Way
Show
Natural
Sense
Impulse
Shows
Drive
Kids
Complicated
Wanted
Depends
Play
Football
Much
Simple
More quotes by Dylan Moran
Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.
Dylan Moran
You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
Dylan Moran
You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!
Dylan Moran
I’ve always been a big consumer of American journalism over the years and had an interest in the history of it and of the press in America how it has changed.
Dylan Moran
In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways.
Dylan Moran
Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
Dylan Moran
You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
Dylan Moran
Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
Dylan Moran
Some people have told me that I'm grumpy it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
Dylan Moran
I do pauses, pauses work for me
Dylan Moran
Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated and lonely people. It's what people had before television. It yokes people together into an imaginary world. It is just people talking to their imaginary friends, at length. I wouldn't mind, but some of the people are world leaders.
Dylan Moran
I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
Dylan Moran
Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
Dylan Moran
I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I don't have lungs, I just have two poppadoms in here.
Dylan Moran
I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
Dylan Moran
I've lived in the UK for longer than I lived in Ireland. I'm not worried about myself, but it's ridiculous for youngsters.
Dylan Moran
You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
Dylan Moran
Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, Quick, get me to casualty quick! while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.
Dylan Moran
I dislike both of [candidates] but there's obviously no choice in the election - if you're concerned about the future of anything, you need to vote for Hillary Clinton.
Dylan Moran
You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.
Dylan Moran