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I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.
Dylan Moran
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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Anything
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More quotes by Dylan Moran
You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
Dylan Moran
He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.
Dylan Moran
I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
Dylan Moran
I'll work for whoever wants to hire me. Even the jewelry channel.
Dylan Moran
You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself.
Dylan Moran
I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
Dylan Moran
I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.
Dylan Moran
I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
Dylan Moran
You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
Dylan Moran
Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
Dylan Moran
Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
Dylan Moran
I write all the time, but you just want to be careful what you put out. That's all. You want to have the confidence that you've done what you need to do to it, because otherwise it's an exercise in vanity.
Dylan Moran
I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.
Dylan Moran
You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
Dylan Moran
Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.
Dylan Moran
I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?
Dylan Moran
The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It's the greatest circus on Earth I suppose.
Dylan Moran
You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
Dylan Moran
Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't.
Dylan Moran
I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.
Dylan Moran