Quote

I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Always
Teacher
Pastries
Like
Challenges
Assassin
Games
Adverts
Future
Panel
Art
Assassins
Play
Chef
Mugger
Something
Photographer
Muggers
Really
Roles
Pastry

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in.
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Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!
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There's always a host of voices you're inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He's one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.
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Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!
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The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.
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You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going to get the best out of people. Whether they know you or not shouldn't matter for comedy. They should get to know you pretty quickly. and they should be having a good time pretty quickly.
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I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
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Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one.
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I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
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You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!
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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
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The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.
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One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.
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Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.
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I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers.
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You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at what's confronting them in their lives and that's kind of sad because there's a kind of pornographic aspect to it, of making some sort of pain go away, of hovering around a pain, making yourself numb, not feel anything.
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When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
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I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.
Dylan Moran