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If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran
Age: 52
Born: 1971
Born: November 3
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Dylan William Moran
Humor
Funny
Might
Done
Digging
Roads
Hadn
Ended

More quotes by Dylan Moran

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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
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You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.
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I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway to the person that's leaving their house.
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I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.
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Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city. Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
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I do pauses, pauses work for me
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Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once.
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I dont watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when youre alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
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[Washington] is the political capital. It's essentially a big office.
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I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?
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I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.
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The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.
Dylan Moran
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I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight.
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I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
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You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them.
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You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but the thing that I enjoy most is the difference between all of them, because you're always learning. I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. I'm actually lucky to have the chance to fail at all of them.
Dylan Moran
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I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.
Dylan Moran
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The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it how much shared there is in it. If you're talking about what's in your own head, or without thought to what people looking and listening will feel, you might as well be in a room talking to yourself.
Dylan Moran
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A lot of the fiction I read growing up was post-war American, and not all of it centers on Manhattan, but around people of the Mad Men generation, people like John Cheever and, in more modern times, Don DeLillo, who I always mention.
Dylan Moran