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I'm not a good lover, but at least I'm fast.

Drew Carey

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Drew Carey
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: May 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Photographer
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Cleveland
Ohio
Drew Allison Carey
Lover
Lovers
Fast
Least
Good

More quotes by Drew Carey

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I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television the ultimate stereo cabinet.
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What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?
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In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.
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Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.
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Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
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Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.
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George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.
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It should be up to each bar owner and patron to decide if they want to smoke or not.
Drew Carey
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When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.
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I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.
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I'm competitive at everything.
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My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.
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And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.
Drew Carey
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Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.
Drew Carey
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I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.
Drew Carey
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When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.
Drew Carey
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What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.
Drew Carey
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I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.
Drew Carey
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I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.
Drew Carey
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I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.
Drew Carey