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I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.

Drew Carey

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Drew Carey
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: May 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Photographer
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Cleveland
Ohio
Drew Allison Carey
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More quotes by Drew Carey

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I'm competitive at everything.
Drew Carey
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I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.
Drew Carey
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Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know?
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Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.
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Green Screen was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.
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Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?
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Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.
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The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.
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I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.
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I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done.
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I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped.
Drew Carey
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Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.
Drew Carey
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In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.
Drew Carey
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If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.
Drew Carey
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The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.
Drew Carey
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What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?
Drew Carey
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Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.
Drew Carey
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The best thing about Las Vegas is that no one pretends to be responsible for your behavior like they do in the rest of the country. There's no meddling self-righteous liberals or right-wing Christian demagogues telling you that you can't do something fun with your own time and money. If you can afford it, it's yours.
Drew Carey
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I wish I could end every rap song I didn't like with a buzzer.
Drew Carey
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I am happy that I ran the half-marathon, but to me, just running and saying that I finished a race isn't enough for me. I want to run the race as best as I can. Working out for pants size isn't enough. I need a goal or a race to get back on the treadmill every day.
Drew Carey