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I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.

Drew Carey

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Drew Carey
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: May 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Photographer
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Cleveland
Ohio
Drew Allison Carey
Would
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Otherwise
School
Jokes
Able
Anybody
Book
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Told
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Parties
Always
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More quotes by Drew Carey

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Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.
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I'm competitive at everything.
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Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
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I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.
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I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.
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Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.
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When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.
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George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.
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I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.
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The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.
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Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.
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If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator.
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I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight. They help people train for things like triathlons or biking and running races. They offer physical therapists, testing, lectures.
Drew Carey
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As far as exercising goes... watch for my next book, How I died while Jogging.
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I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
Drew Carey
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It should be up to each bar owner and patron to decide if they want to smoke or not.
Drew Carey
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I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.
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I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.
Drew Carey
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It sucks being fat, you know.
Drew Carey
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I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television the ultimate stereo cabinet.
Drew Carey