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I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.

Drew Carey

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Drew Carey
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: May 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Improviser
Photographer
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Cleveland
Ohio
Drew Allison Carey
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Always
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More quotes by Drew Carey

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I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs.
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George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.
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I'm not a good lover, but at least I'm fast.
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The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.
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I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television the ultimate stereo cabinet.
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Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.
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I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.
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I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped.
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And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.
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International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.
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I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.
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I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.
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You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.
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Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.
Drew Carey
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The best thing about Las Vegas is that no one pretends to be responsible for your behavior like they do in the rest of the country. There's no meddling self-righteous liberals or right-wing Christian demagogues telling you that you can't do something fun with your own time and money. If you can afford it, it's yours.
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The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.
Drew Carey
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Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.
Drew Carey
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TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.
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It doesn't matter how smart you are to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day.
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It should be up to each bar owner and patron to decide if they want to smoke or not.
Drew Carey