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I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
Think
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Guy
Wish
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More quotes by Dov Davidoff

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I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.
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If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
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If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
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Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
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I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.
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Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.
Dov Davidoff
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You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.
Dov Davidoff
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
Dov Davidoff
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
Dov Davidoff
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Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
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If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.
Dov Davidoff
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
Dov Davidoff
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Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Dov Davidoff
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Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
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Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.
Dov Davidoff
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Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.
Dov Davidoff
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Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
Dov Davidoff
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The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
Dov Davidoff