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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
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Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
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Upside of being an attractive woman if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.
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Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
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Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
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Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.
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Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
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You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.
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I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.
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Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.
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It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
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Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
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Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.
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A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.
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The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
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Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.
Dov Davidoff