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My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.

Dov Davidoff

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Dov Davidoff
School
Steal
Jewish
Stealing
Dad
Car
Taxes

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I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
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All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
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Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?
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You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.
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Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.
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White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.
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Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
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When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.
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Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
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The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.
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Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.
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The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.
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Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
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Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.
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When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
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A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.
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I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.
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Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.
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Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
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Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
Dov Davidoff